Storque! What?!

Featured:

http://www.etsy.com/storque/spotlight/etsy-finds-true-colors-6027/

Bought the shoes.

See post below.

Anyone want to buy me some shoes?

Just sayin'...

A Sweet Experiment

Fused a recipe from Bakerella and a recipe from The Hostess with the Mostess, added some chocolate chips, and made these:





Banana Chocolate Chip Cupcakes with Caramel Icing and Chopped Walnuts. Yes. That's what I said.

Blerg.

This is what my morning looks like:



At 26, having to down a fistful of pills every morning is just a tad frightening.

I can blame this recent occurrence on having been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, a genetic disease that is wreaking havoc on my endocrine system, not to mention my metabolism.

I'm getting used to it, kind of. When I started taking those two white, wide pills, though, I had to stay cooped up in my house for an entire week because of the side effects (nausea, among other things). Now, I can leave my house for a few hours. Optimism, right?

I'm just glad I didn't start all of this during the school year. I wouldn't have been able to teach because I would have been in the fetal position under my desk... or in the bathroom hailing the porcelain god.


Why am I going through such rigorous treatment, you ask? Why not just take synthroid and be done with it? Well, given what this disease has helped me do to my body (namely, my weight), I am less likely to become pregnant or carry a child to term if I do. That's right: fat girls tend to have fertility issues. Problem is, hypothyroidism is notorious for helping you put the weight on with ease, and then blocking all attempts to lose it. For my body, it's not as easy as less calories in than out.

And thus, the plethora of pills. Two pills for insulin stabilization (no, I'm not diabetic, but the hypothyroidism thing affects some of the same body functions), a pill for vitamin D depletion, and two pills for vitamin B12 depletion, two pills for calcium, one pill for hormone leveling, one pill to battle the symptoms only, and the list goes on.

Just have to adjust, right? Life goes on, right? I'll be fine.

A big to-do.

I'm a lister.

When I have tasks to accomplish, I make a list. Always. I even make sub-lists covering the steps of the items on the main list.

What's terrible, though, is that I tend to beat myself up when the list goes undone. Why does it go undone, you ask? Welp, I'm not only a lister, but I'm also a procrastinator. I put things off, and I still haven't found the reason for that. Sure, I have plenty of hypotheses: deer-in-headlights reaction, intense apathy, defeatist mentality; call it anything you want, but the reality is that the tasks don't get done. At least not all of them. And NEVER on time.

The Current List:

1. fill out and send wedding thank you cards (now an entire month overdue according to etiquette)

2. rearrange pantry; clean out refrigerator

3. sort CDs into alphabetical order (not a small task... I have over 300)

4. sort magazines

5. rearrange bookshelves (again, no small task... I haven't even counted)

6. re-hang art on walls

7. pack returns and send off

8. go through wedding boxes

9. clean and organize craft space

10. clean vanity (it's like a Sephora bomb went off in my bedroom)

11. fix clothing in drawers (Aaron's the laundry bitch, and he has issues with folding clothes apparently)

12. go through closet and donate

13. go through boxes under bed and in storage

14. organize bedroom

15. make initial psych appointment (Tina's starting to feel the crazy brewing again... time to nip this thing in the bud)

16. send Caitlin's box

17. finish mortgage paperwork (a BIG one, for sure)

18. get charcoal for terrarium

19. Staples for more school supplies

20. new designs for Etsy shop

21. make new cards

22. schedule guitar lessons

23. make household chore schedule

I know. Most of these are incredibly trivial and mundane. But that is what my summer is FOR! I always made excuses during the school year that I was just too busy to take care of the little things... and I was. I could handle grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and necessary household clean-up, and that was it (it's not easy bringing your work home with you). But now I have plenty of time to jump on the tasks that must be done, no matter how minute, and nothing. No effort. Zip.

Oh, and I loooove that last one. I wrote that one to avoid the dreaded dirty dish pile-up, the unsorted mail that clutters the kitchen table come Friday, and the supermarket circulars that somehow never make it to the recycling pile. A task designed to make my life easier. But can I do it? 'Course not.

Help.

And because no blog post can be without a picture, here's one.



Don't ask.

The weekend to end all weekends.

My closest friend Caitlin will be here in less than four hours to spend four days in DC with me. She's the BEST. Ten reasons why:

1. Her brain is as convoluted and quirky as mine, which leads to fantastic conversation.
2. She makes me laugh. Hard.
   
3. Her creativity and artistry inspire me.
4. She's always up for high jinks such as founding a Kite Society or sitting on other people's porches (people we do not know who are probably sleeping) late at night.
5. She sings Spice Girls and Weezer with me at the Tavern even though they always yell at us that it isn't a karaoke bar.
6. She cries at movies. As much as I do.
7. She introduced me to Arrested Development and Freaks and Geeks. Need I say more?
8. We have the same curly hair woes.
9. She can bake laps around Martha Stewart.
10. She's been around to take care of me for nearly four years, and I can totally imagine us growing old together and sitting in rocking chairs on (someone else's) front porch watching a sunset.

Can't wait to see you!


From left: Aaron's sister Stacy, Caitlin, me, my sister Nicole


From left: Caitlin, Nicole, me

The usual neuroses.

Apparently I am not good at keeping resolutions.

I think I must have just written them to set myself up to fail.

Sure, it's only been two weeks, but I'm driving myself crazy. Already. What's worse is that I have plenty of productive things I could be doing, and I run the list in my head constantly:

1. make things for my etsy shop, as I have ignored it since March
   
2. search for houses
3. fill out and send my wedding thank you cards (I know, I KNOW)
4. clean out my closet and donate
5. reorganize our office space-- it looks like a tornado ran through there
6. go to the gym
7. find a place to volunteer

Seriously, I haven't even been doing the fun, leisurely things I promised myself I would do. I have been putzing away my time and then wondering where it went, I've been staying up way too late for no apparent reason, and, the worst, I've been getting sad.

I can control this. All of it is my own doing. These are my choices.

So why does that leave me useless rather than empowered?

On a slightly happier note, I got new glasses.



So, any suggestions on how I can kick this crazy affliction? I know what will help temporarily (CAITLIN'S COMING ON THURSDAY!!!), but what about after?

What's wrong with me?

When I think of starting a family, I cannot make up my mind.

At times I think I'd be better off with no kids at all. No other lives to screw up but my own.

But then seconds later I want ten. Yes. Ten kids. Ten other people to make my house happy, loving, and warm.

Sigh.

Three children.

I now have more living things inhabiting my dwelling. I am keeping them alive, and I am so very proud of myself. Sylvester, my basil plant, has now tripled in size since the day we bought (adopted) him. To his left is one of our new little ones, a mint plant affectionately named Hamid, after the family that gave him to me from their garden. The pot to the right contains a German Thyme plant Aaron cleverly named Chronos.

We have a family.

Rejecting or Embracing Adulthood

I am learning to be an adult. I know this for four reasons.

1. Caitlin's egg test. On one of our late nights out in Saint Augustine the three of us had gone to Denny's (I think it was around two-thirty in the morning... ah, to be young again). We began relaying our orders to the server, and I ordered my eggs over easy. After the server had left, Caitline proclaimed that I was no longer a kid because every kid orders his or her eggs scrambled-- no exceptions.
2. Coffee and tea. I have not been making a conscious effort to drink these beverages with less sweetener, but somehow I have begun to prefer the slight bitterness. I now find typical drinks at chain coffeehouses to be cloyingly sweet. At times I can't even stomach it. I recently ordered a latte at Panera Bread and I had to force myself to finish it just because I needed the caffeine.
3. My basil plant, Sylvester, is thriving. He has tripled in height since we bought him-- he's so tall I am afraid he will die from having lopped over from the weight. He also has new shoots growing from the base of his two stalks. Just call me the basil whisperer.
   
4. Baking. I am learning to be more exact with measurements and cooking times, resulting in better outcomes. I used to consider myself strictly a cook-- throw a little of this in, a little of that, when it smells and tastes done, it's done. Now I may be able to do both because of the adultness setting in. Does being able to properly measure, mix, and time a baking cake make me more responsible?

Anyway, since school is over, I'll be able to try all of the recipes I've been seeing lately on all the blogs I click through before I start my day.

Lemon bars, via Bakerella:

Taking a small step.

I've been invited to visit with a student's family tonight.

I made rice crispy treats with halal marshmallows for the occasion, and I think I'm going to bring a small gift as well.

I'm feeling excited, but very nervous. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I ask the wrong questions? What if I am awkward or boring?

I have to go down to Woodbridge early to avoid the traffic, so I might go to Borders or Books-a-Million to waste some time. Read any good books lately?

Summer Resolutions

1. Get up before 8:00am everyday.
2. Make a solid effort to find a place to live in Virginia.
3. Go to the gym at least every other day.
4. Read a book a week.
5. Get my Etsy shop up and running again.
6. Make things.
7. Wander in the city.
   
8. Make a game-plan for next school year.
9. Keep the apartment clean.
10. Don't get sad.

Aaron and I have a baby.

Yes. The plant is the baby. No bi-genetic parasites as of yet.

I have been able to keep this basil plant alive for a whole month. This is quite a triumph, as I have killed every dependent living thing that has ever entered my dwelling... thus, our fears of having children. So, maybe if we can keep the plant alive, perhaps we can graduate to a goldfish, next a small mammal of sorts, and then down the line until a kid might not seem like such a far cry.

Today I re-potted him in a larger pot with organic soil. I hope he takes well to his new home.

I named him Sylvester, because I anthropomorphize everything.

Fingers crossed that he makes it one more month.