As reflective as I can be at five in the morning.

I just woke up for work (yes, I actually get up this early) and realized I had been avoiding writing this entry. I typically avoid anything daunting, such as stacks of papers to be graded or three-hundred envelopes to be lined. But why was this somewhat frightening to me? What could possibly go wrong? Well, not only is today my last day with the kids until January, my last day at home until New Year's, and my last day to ignore all of the work I have piled up for myself, but this is also the last day I'll be participating in Making It.

I wrote to Marichelle several months ago requesting that she consider spotlighting my new business. This took me a few weeks to work up to, as I was afraid of the seemingly inevitable rejection that would come of it. Her blog is incredible-- definitely a daily read for me. I was thrilled to hear back from her so quickly, and she came up with the brilliant concept of featuring several new people to the handmade scene and chronicling our struggles and triumphs. I couldn't pass it up.

I've heard from so many of you through Heart Handmade. I've made connections all around the world-- my blog hits went from five a week to thirty a day. That might be small potatoes for some, but it was a world of a difference to me. I feel like I've become vested in this part of the world that I had only discovered some months before. I'd never thought I'd be able to organize myself enough to participate in a craft show, and clean up at that. It didn't occur to me that I could be sending my cards, my little labors of love, to people halfway across the world.

I'm still new at this-- still wet behind the ears. But now I think I know what might be ahead for me (besides Valentine's Day and the cards to go with it, of course).

I would like to close with a sincere thank you to all of you who came to find me on Heart Handmade and give me encouragement every week. You have touched my heart (cliche and corny, but true). And thank YOU, Marichelle, for helping me to my feet. Thank you for allowing me to make my business more personal. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for your work.

You want some? Go get some!

Want some of my cards, along with some other amazing handmade items, for FREE??

Head on over to Modish and enter the current GIVEAWAY, which features a 5-pack of my Deco the Halls greeting cards, and just in time for the holidays.

Just call me Ms. Conflicted

I am determined to be good at my job. I want to be an incredible teacher. A movie teacher. You know the ones-- John Keating from Dead Poets, Jaime Escalante from Stand and Deliver, Glenn Holland from Opus. It will never happen, though. I know this because I know how I am, and always have been. I'm irreverent, irresponsible, chaotic, and self-deprecating. I seem to have no motivation; I rarely work hard at anything, even if I desire something greatly.

I'm incredibly behind in my grading. I haven't even finished reading the book I am now teaching (this will be remedied tonight, though). I barely meet bureaucratic deadlines. I leave everything for the morning of, instead of preparing in advance. I am hesitant to sacrifice my personal time, even though I rarely engage in constructive activities during said time.

Someone needs to kick me in the ass. LECTURE ME. PLEASE.

Otherwise, I'll never be great. Good-- maybe. Okay-- certainly. But great? It won't happen unless I change my habits.

The Tree.

It's our first tree. Sure, it's made of unpronounceable plastic products and not timber and needles, but I think it's perfect. It was my first attempt at decorating a tree without "suggestions" (dictations) from my mother on our family tree, and I think I might have just done a super-awesome job, especially given that I was operating on a slim budget. I was going for a "sparkly woodland" feel when picking out ornaments and such. Aaron and I decorated together while listening to Christmas music and inhaling the cinnamon emanating from the scented pinecones I had covered with glitter the night before (I used them, along with some beaded pears I found on clearance, to fill the bald spots in the $14.99 fake tree).

Without further ado, here are the pictures:

Pennies from heaven. They count.

It's always around this time that I really start feeling the holidays. I'm constantly scoping out gifts for my loved ones (and, embarrassingly, some for myself), hunting for the perfect ornaments to deck out my [fake] tree (I know... sacrilege), and planning visits with family.

Things are certainly tight, money wise, this year. Our rent is astronomical (that's what we get for moving to a location within ten minutes of northwest D.C.), we're still saving mad money for the wedding, and I just started my business. Sales have started to pick up a little over at the shop since the Baltimore show, but I'm still hoping for some last minute card buyers in order to ease the burden of my investment. Despite those concerns-- and everybody has them right now-- I am more excited for this holiday than any other in recent memory. Aaron and I finally have a place to put up a [fake] tree together, my head is swimming with cheap and chic decorating ideas thanks to creative people like Livy, Martha, and Elsie, and we'll be going on a road trip for half of the break.

Now all I need is holiday music.

My all time top ten... at least for right now, and in no particular order:

1. Pennies From Heaven - Louis Prima (I know. It's not exactly a "holiday" song, but it reminds me of my favorite scene in Elf everytime I hear it, and that makes me feel the cheer.)
2. This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
3. Sleigh Ride - Ella Fitzgerald
4. I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas - Harry Stewart (a childhood favorite)
5. Donde Esta Santa Claus - Augie Rios (my sister will know why)
6. Merry Christmas All - Brook Denton (my sister and my mother will know why)
7. Christmas Time is Here - Vince Guaraldi
   
8. White Christmas - The Drifters
9. Please Come Home for Christmas - Charles Brown
10. Happy Christmas (War is Over) - John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band

I'll post pictures of my tree this weekend. Have a wonderful rest of your week, everyone!