My Hands, My Knees

I'VE MOVED!

2011-03-25T21:05:00.003-04:00

My blog has now turned into a Tumblr feed showcasing my latest projects. You can find me here:

tinaamato.tumblr.com

SCORE!

2010-07-18T16:22:00.003-04:00

Agh! I just cannot contain my excitement!

I just bought this from someone on Craigslist.

It was forty dollars.

Yes. Forty. I know.

Living Room

2010-05-23T10:42:00.005-04:00

This is our new living room:
And this is what I want to put in it:

We already own the bookshelf, the white locker cabinet, and the print (thank you, Caitlin!!). We plan to keep the walls white because many of the items we own, particularly my ginormous collection of books, are quite colorful.

New Home.

2010-05-22T10:21:00.004-04:00

Aaron and I bought a house. Pictures can be found here.

I have some ideas about decorating, but after scouring the internets for inspiration, I've found that my tastes are all over the board and at times conflicting.

I love modern, clean lines. Whites. Sparse spaces.

But I also love vintage-y, cluttery, frou frou spaces with color, color, and more color.

Pulled some stuff together, and you can just SEE the clashing ideas. Caitlin, I need your help!

Tres Leches!

2010-02-15T18:18:00.003-05:00

I felt like baking today.

Made the best cake I've ever made, I think.

I followed the Pioneer Woman's recipe for Tres Leches, only mine baked in about half the time that she specified. In fact, I originally attempted this recipe on Friday, but it burned because I didn't follow my nose. This time-- perfection.

Take a gander:

New Title Banner

2010-02-09T16:11:00.002-05:00

Caitlin Robinson (the coolest bitch I know) made me a new title banner for my blog because she was tired of me neglecting to post. Perhaps I'll feel more inspired to share my goings-on now that I've got something super-spiffy to look at. :)

You can find Caitlin, and her graphic design work, over at her blog or her online portfolio.

I love you, Caitlin.

Storque! What?!

2009-11-12T20:15:00.002-05:00

Featured:

http://www.etsy.com/storque/spotlight/etsy-finds-true-colors-6027/

Bought the shoes.

2009-09-05T22:28:00.001-04:00

See post below.

Anyone want to buy me some shoes?

2009-08-26T23:10:00.002-04:00

Just sayin'...

A Sweet Experiment

2009-08-18T20:32:00.005-04:00

Fused a recipe from Bakerella and a recipe from The Hostess with the Mostess, added some chocolate chips, and made these:

Banana Chocolate Chip Cupcakes with Caramel Icing and Chopped Walnuts. Yes. That's what I said.

Blerg.

2009-07-29T11:39:00.002-04:00

This is what my morning looks like:

At 26, having to down a fistful of pills every morning is just a tad frightening.

I can blame this recent occurrence on having been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, a genetic disease that is wreaking havoc on my endocrine system, not to mention my metabolism.

I'm getting used to it, kind of. When I started taking those two white, wide pills, though, I had to stay cooped up in my house for an entire week because of the side effects (nausea, among other things). Now, I can leave my house for a few hours. Optimism, right?

I'm just glad I didn't start all of this during the school year. I wouldn't have been able to teach because I would have been in the fetal position under my desk... or in the bathroom hailing the porcelain god.

Why am I going through such rigorous treatment, you ask? Why not just take synthroid and be done with it? Well, given what this disease has helped me do to my body (namely, my weight), I am less likely to become pregnant or carry a child to term if I do. That's right: fat girls tend to have fertility issues. Problem is, hypothyroidism is notorious for helping you put the weight on with ease, and then blocking all attempts to lose it. For my body, it's not as easy as less calories in than out.

And thus, the plethora of pills. Two pills for insulin stabilization (no, I'm not diabetic, but the hypothyroidism thing affects some of the same body functions), a pill for vitamin D depletion, and two pills for vitamin B12 depletion, two pills for calcium, one pill for hormone leveling, one pill to battle the symptoms only, and the list goes on.

Just have to adjust, right? Life goes on, right? I'll be fine.

A big to-do.

2009-07-18T00:07:00.003-04:00

I'm a lister.

When I have tasks to accomplish, I make a list. Always. I even make sub-lists covering the steps of the items on the main list.

What's terrible, though, is that I tend to beat myself up when the list goes undone. Why does it go undone, you ask? Welp, I'm not only a lister, but I'm also a procrastinator. I put things off, and I still haven't found the reason for that. Sure, I have plenty of hypotheses: deer-in-headlights reaction, intense apathy, defeatist mentality; call it anything you want, but the reality is that the tasks don't get done. At least not all of them. And NEVER on time.

The Current List:

1. fill out and send wedding thank you cards (now an entire month overdue according to etiquette)

2. rearrange pantry; clean out refrigerator

3. sort CDs into alphabetical order (not a small task... I have over 300)

4. sort magazines

5. rearrange bookshelves (again, no small task... I haven't even counted)

6. re-hang art on walls

7. pack returns and send off

8. go through wedding boxes

9. clean and organize craft space

10. clean vanity (it's like a Sephora bomb went off in my bedroom)

11. fix clothing in drawers (Aaron's the laundry bitch, and he has issues with folding clothes apparently)

12. go through closet and donate

13. go through boxes under bed and in storage

14. organize bedroom

15. make initial psych appointment (Tina's starting to feel the crazy brewing again... time to nip this thing in the bud)

16. send Caitlin's box

17. finish mortgage paperwork (a BIG one, for sure)

18. get charcoal for terrarium

19. Staples for more school supplies

20. new designs for Etsy shop

21. make new cards

22. schedule guitar lessons

23. make household chore schedule

I know. Most of these are incredibly trivial and mundane. But that is what my summer is FOR! I always made excuses during the school year that I was just too busy to take care of the little things... and I was. I could handle grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and necessary household clean-up, and that was it (it's not easy bringing your work home with you). But now I have plenty of time to jump on the tasks that must be done, no matter how minute, and nothing. No effort. Zip.

Oh, and I loooove that last one. I wrote that one to avoid the dreaded dirty dish pile-up, the unsorted mail that clutters the kitchen table come Friday, and the supermarket circulars that somehow never make it to the recycling pile. A task designed to make my life easier. But can I do it? 'Course not.

Help.

And because no blog post can be without a picture, here's one.

Don't ask.

The weekend to end all weekends.

2009-07-02T09:34:00.004-04:00

My closest friend Caitlin will be here in less than four hours to spend four days in DC with me. She's the BEST. Ten reasons why:

Her brain is as convoluted and quirky as mine, which leads to fantastic conversation.
She makes me laugh. Hard.
Her creativity and artistry inspire me.
She's always up for high jinks such as founding a Kite Society or sitting on other people's porches (people we do not know who are probably sleeping) late at night.
She sings Spice Girls and Weezer with me at the Tavern even though they always yell at us that it isn't a karaoke bar.
She cries at movies. As much as I do.
She introduced me to Arrested Development and Freaks and Geeks. Need I say more?
We have the same curly hair woes.
She can bake laps around Martha Stewart.
She's been around to take care of me for nearly four years, and I can totally imagine us growing old together and sitting in rocking chairs on (someone else's) front porch watching a sunset.

Can't wait to see you!

From left: Aaron's sister Stacy, Caitlin, me, my sister Nicole

From left: Caitlin, Nicole, me

The usual neuroses.

2009-06-30T08:46:00.002-04:00

Apparently I am not good at keeping resolutions.

I think I must have just written them to set myself up to fail.

Sure, it's only been two weeks, but I'm driving myself crazy. Already. What's worse is that I have plenty of productive things I could be doing, and I run the list in my head constantly:

make things for my etsy shop, as I have ignored it since March
search for houses
fill out and send my wedding thank you cards (I know, I KNOW)
clean out my closet and donate
reorganize our office space-- it looks like a tornado ran through there
go to the gym
find a place to volunteer

Seriously, I haven't even been doing the fun, leisurely things I promised myself I would do. I have been putzing away my time and then wondering where it went, I've been staying up way too late for no apparent reason, and, the worst, I've been getting sad.

I can control this. All of it is my own doing. These are my choices.

So why does that leave me useless rather than empowered?

On a slightly happier note, I got new glasses.

So, any suggestions on how I can kick this crazy affliction? I know what will help temporarily (CAITLIN'S COMING ON THURSDAY!!!), but what about after?

What's wrong with me?

2009-06-24T15:54:00.003-04:00

When I think of starting a family, I cannot make up my mind.

At times I think I'd be better off with no kids at all. No other lives to screw up but my own.

But then seconds later I want ten. Yes. Ten kids. Ten other people to make my house happy, loving, and warm.

Sigh.

Three children.

2009-06-22T17:50:00.003-04:00

I now have more living things inhabiting my dwelling. I am keeping them alive, and I am so very proud of myself. Sylvester, my basil plant, has now tripled in size since the day we bought (adopted) him. To his left is one of our new little ones, a mint plant affectionately named Hamid, after the family that gave him to me from their garden. The pot to the right contains a German Thyme plant Aaron cleverly named Chronos.

We have a family.

Rejecting or Embracing Adulthood

2009-06-19T18:20:00.007-04:00

I am learning to be an adult. I know this for four reasons.

Caitlin's egg test. On one of our late nights out in Saint Augustine the three of us had gone to Denny's (I think it was around two-thirty in the morning... ah, to be young again). We began relaying our orders to the server, and I ordered my eggs over easy. After the server had left, Caitline proclaimed that I was no longer a kid because every kid orders his or her eggs scrambled-- no exceptions.
Coffee and tea. I have not been making a conscious effort to drink these beverages with less sweetener, but somehow I have begun to prefer the slight bitterness. I now find typical drinks at chain coffeehouses to be cloyingly sweet. At times I can't even stomach it. I recently ordered a latte at Panera Bread and I had to force myself to finish it just because I needed the caffeine.
My basil plant, Sylvester, is thriving. He has tripled in height since we bought him-- he's so tall I am afraid he will die from having lopped over from the weight. He also has new shoots growing from the base of his two stalks. Just call me the basil whisperer.
Baking. I am learning to be more exact with measurements and cooking times, resulting in better outcomes. I used to consider myself strictly a cook-- throw a little of this in, a little of that, when it smells and tastes done, it's done. Now I may be able to do both because of the adultness setting in. Does being able to properly measure, mix, and time a baking cake make me more responsible?

Anyway, since school is over, I'll be able to try all of the recipes I've been seeing lately on all the blogs I click through before I start my day.

Lemon bars, via Bakerella:

Taking a small step.

2009-06-18T12:37:00.004-04:00

I've been invited to visit with a student's family tonight.

I made rice crispy treats with halal marshmallows for the occasion, and I think I'm going to bring a small gift as well.

I'm feeling excited, but very nervous. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I ask the wrong questions? What if I am awkward or boring?

I have to go down to Woodbridge early to avoid the traffic, so I might go to Borders or Books-a-Million to waste some time. Read any good books lately?

Summer Resolutions

2009-06-17T20:20:00.002-04:00

Get up before 8:00am everyday.
Make a solid effort to find a place to live in Virginia.
Go to the gym at least every other day.
Read a book a week.
Get my Etsy shop up and running again.
Make things.
Wander in the city.
Make a game-plan for next school year.
Keep the apartment clean.
Don't get sad.

Aaron and I have a baby.

2009-06-13T11:50:00.004-04:00

Yes. The plant is the baby. No bi-genetic parasites as of yet.

I have been able to keep this basil plant alive for a whole month. This is quite a triumph, as I have killed every dependent living thing that has ever entered my dwelling... thus, our fears of having children. So, maybe if we can keep the plant alive, perhaps we can graduate to a goldfish, next a small mammal of sorts, and then down the line until a kid might not seem like such a far cry.

Today I re-potted him in a larger pot with organic soil. I hope he takes well to his new home.

I named him Sylvester, because I anthropomorphize everything.

Fingers crossed that he makes it one more month.

Resurrecting Ancient City Kite Society

2009-06-03T20:21:00.003-04:00

Aaron and I will be going home Friday for a weekend visit. I was asked by several former students to attend their graduation on Saturday, and I have graciously accepted their invitation. However, this is not my primary motivation for going home... it was a convenient excuse.

My true reason? Caitlin.

It was difficult enough moving away from my parents, but it was just as painful to leave knowing my closest friend would be so far away.

About a year before I moved, after I had just gotten my teaching position at Menendez, Caitlin and I were seeing less of each other. We were no longer working together, and our schedules barely meshed. So, we decided to make a date at least once a week.

That date became the Ancient City Kite Society.

I remember sitting at Barnes and Noble looking at a book called Get a Hobby; there was an entry on kite-flying. Next thing, we were in the car on the way to Walmart, hell-bent on scouring the toy section for those flimsy plastic kites with cartoon characters and streamers-- a two dollar bit of nostalgia.

We went every week to the Castillo de San Marco to fly. It gave us an excuse to see each other, catch up, be outside-- relish a carefree moment.

Our plan, this Saturday, is to go out again, picnic packed, kites strapped to our backs like medieval shields, and take to the wind.

Oh man. It's going to be great.

Up.

2009-05-29T22:37:00.001-04:00

This movie made me cry more times than I can count. That means it's good.

Up - Trailer | Viral/Other | SPIKE.com

SUTLAC and other dessert adventures.

2009-05-24T22:21:00.003-04:00

I made it. It's amazing. I might dare say it's better than Levante's.

Also, today after strawberry picking, Kira and I went to work making both strawberry shortcake and a quadruple berry pie with fresh cream.

Boo ya. I feel invincible in my kitchen right now.

Strawberry Picking

2009-05-24T18:29:00.006-04:00

Click the picture for a slideshow of our strawberry picking / kebab / baking excursion.

CONCERT TONIGHT!

2009-05-22T16:11:00.002-04:00

I'm going on a platonic date with a guy who works at my school.

Before you freak out and tell me married women don't do that, don't worry, Aaron's coming too. I just say it's a date with the other dude because Aaron doesn't care as much about going to a concert as he does about just hanging out, while Bowen is as insane about music as I am. I think I may have found my local concert-going buddy, and, surprise, it's actually another educator... well, guidance counselor, anyway.

Too bad I feel like I'm getting sick, though. Guess I'll just have to suck it up. Take one for the team.

I think I'm going to try to convince Aaron to take me out to Levante's beforehand. Levante's is one of my favorite restaurants in the district. It serves Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Turkish cuisine. My favorite thing in the whole world is their Sutlac, or Turkish rice pudding. I feel like I should try to make it myself, but I have a feeling it won't compare.

COOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!

I might just be hitting my stride.

2009-05-19T20:21:00.003-04:00

I think I may be starting to feel more confident in my profession. Hell, it's taken a few years, but I feel like I might just be moving closer to where I want to be.

My lessons for my advanced classes are air-tight this week. I spent a good five hours this past weekend putting everything together, doing some research, and drafting materials. I feel like they're interesting, but they still fully encompass the necessary concepts. Granted, SO MUCH MORE can be taught with Shakespeare. Although I have alluded to connotations and references in class, unfortunately, given my audience, I've had to censor much of the message. But, aside from promiscuity, venereal disease, and erections, there is so much more I could cover.

For instance: Juliet's constant firing of questions during the balcony scene. Not only does she defy the expectations of the Petrarchan heroine, she shatters Elizabethan constructs by refusing to play coy and demanding answers from her potential mate. What's most puzzling, though, is that she very rarely receives any definitive answer from Romeo; his intentions, although seeming obvious upon his proposal of marriage, remain unclear. Instead of waiting for clarity, she interrupts with more questions and insinuates his answers.

God, I'm such a nerd. Why do I like this literature crap so much? Why can't I just be one of those normal people whose idea of good reading is Us Weekly or TV Guide? I'd probably be better off.

Anyway, I think I could be good at this teaching thing eventually.

Twenty Random Things.

2009-05-18T19:57:00.003-04:00

I am a walking oxymoron because my first name means "little."
When I was younger I hated brushing my teeth, but then I finally realized that I only hated mint toothpaste. Now I use cinnamon and I brush at least twice a day. I've never had a cavity.
My parents wanted me to pursue either singing or law. I became a teacher.
I once got suspended from school for five days for witnessing a friend steal a school restroom sign and not squealing.
Even though I'm super tubby, I maintain excellent flexibility and can touch my toes.
I still have a teddy bear that was given to me by my grandparents when I was a day old.
I used to hang out with a bunch of slutty girls in middle school, and I thought there was something wrong with me because, at thirteen, I had never been kissed (aside from that one incident on the playground in nursery school), while they were already having sex.
My favorite color is Pantone 361 EC. Yes, it's that specific.
I'm the same height as my father.
Aside from Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, I think every movie Charlie Kaufman has written is genius. Same goes for everything Wes Anderson and Darren Aronofsky have directed.
I have a foul mouth, and I'm both ashamed and proud of it.
I'm almost certain that a girl was impregnated on my family's living room couch on my prom night.
I spent this past Christmas night at a bar in my hometown catching up with old friends.
I would trade just about anything to be pretty and skinny.
My favorite thing in the world is a tight, meaningful hug. However, I tend to be repulsed by loose, frivolous ones.
My memory largely operates with my olfactory sense-- I can still remember what my mother's father smelled like, and he died when I was five.
I can cook a mean roast.
The first CD I ever bought was Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, thus retiring my sizable cassette tape collection.
Aaron always requires me to break codes for him in video games because I am the effing shite at recognizing patterns.
I've worn glasses since I was two, and I would have been dyslexic had my parents not noticed my vision problems.

What are your twenty things?

Kick-ass album.

2009-05-18T14:04:00.010-04:00

Aaron is a musical purist, meaning he tends to only enjoy music made by traditional instruments and people's voices. I, on the other hand, love just about every kind of music imaginable, save country. This would include music made using synthesizers, drum machines, and computers. In fact, I can remember back in middle school one of my most prized CDs was Bjork's Post-- techno, kind of, only more melodic... more human. It's still an incredible album, truly; it's one of those you can listen to all the way through and love every second.

I have found another Post. Handsome Furs' new album, Face Control, has changed my musical life (or at least my musical six months... I'm fickle). Track nine, in particular, feels to me like it mimics the beat of my own circulatory system. I FEEL this song with every nerve in my body, especially when playing it at a loud volume. I've had the disc on repeat in my car for about three weeks, and I must have played and replayed track nine at least fifty times. I am convinced Dan Boeckner must have snuck in my room while I was sleeping and took my vitals as the inspiration for this song. Edit: if you plan on giving just track nine a try, I recommend using headphones or turning the volume WAY UP to get the best listen.

Seriously. If you have not heard this album, and you are open to electronic music, I suggest you procure a copy post-haste. Even if it sounds a bit off at first (which the album did to me), it will grow on you. Three listens, and I was hooked. What's more, I'll be seeing them live for the second time in July.

Ah, life is beautiful.

Sometimes.

Fickle.

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet... right?

2009-05-13T20:19:00.003-04:00

I'm just not sure.

It'll be two months tomorrow that Aaron and I have been married, and I still haven't legally changed my name. In all sincerity, it is simply because I have not yet found the time to visit the dreaded Social Security office.

The problem, however, is that this waiting period has allowed me time to stew over my decision. Needless to say, I am torn.

I have been Tina Amato since I was born. I have been at or near the top of every roll call. My name has been announced into microphones and loudspeakers. I have gotten pieces of writing published under my name. My birth certificate, my high school diploma, my college degree-- they all read Tina Amato.

My family's last name is Amato. I have no brothers, nor any male cousins on my father's side save the children of my aunt (who is now a Spetta and not an Amato), so the Amato last name will no longer pass on in my geneology.

When my mother gave up her maiden name, Bertolino, she was giving it up for a name with similar ethnic and customary ties. She was sad to change it, she tells me, as she felt my father's name was ordinary compared to hers (and it is-- there are thousands of Amatos in the U.S., especially in New York, but only a few hundred Bertolinos). But she made her decision knowing her identity would not be entirely shaken. No serious upheaval would occur.

If I decide to take Aaron's last name, I will be Tina Jay. Two whole syllables lost. My glaring ethnicity lost. My family's name lost.

I realize that, in marrying Aaron, it is only logical to say that we have started our own family and thus my old last name is inconsequential, but unfortunately that's not how we Italians think. My third cousins are family. My parents' friends who have known me since I was an infant-- they are family. My parents and sister will always be, in my head, MY FAMILY. Giving up my name feels like I am giving up my connection to them.

Aaron wants me to do as I wish. He is allowing me to make this choice, and he says he will be happy with the decision I make. Nonetheless, I still feel obligated somehow to take his name. I feel as if I am not committing to him and the family we are starting if I choose to remain an Amato. Even worse, our children will bear only his name (which is something he does feel strongly about... and what male raised in a patriarchal society wouldn't), which would further alienate me, not to mention confuse the kids and make legal and educational proceedings more difficult.

I briefly considered hyphenating, but it still doesn't sound right to me. There is no ring to "Tina Amato-Jay."

I have to go one way or the other, and I fear that I am leaning backward. What would it mean for me to keep my name? Am I not committing myself fully to Aaron if I don't change it? Am I denying our connection, even the marriage itself? It's funny how I never think of other women who keep their maiden names in this context, but I am imposing these ideas on myself.

I love him.

I love my last name and all it represents.

Can I have both without the guilt of letting him, and perhaps society, down?

Alison tagged me, and who am I to resist narcissistic urges?

2009-05-10T18:22:00.002-04:00

8 Things

Here's how 8 THINGS works:- Mention the person that tagged you.- Complete the lists of 8's.- Tag 8 of your wonderful bloggy friends.- Go tell them you tagged them!

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO:
1. my parents visiting for Aaron's graduation from grad school
2. our trip down to Florida for my old students' graduation
3. the school year closing and getting a fresh start next year
4. Aaron starting his new and flashy job at OSD
5. CAITLIN'S VISIT IN JULY!!!
6. the whole mess of concerts I've got tickets to see
7. finally settling down in a place for awhile
8. getting my singing voice back... I've been practicing

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:
1. cuddled with my husband
2. went house-hunting
3. listened to the newest Handsome Furs album three times over
4. started drafting my lesson plans
5. went for a walk
6. took pictures of my neighborhood
7. wished I had been at John and Mandy's wedding
8. skipped dinner

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO:
1. ride a bike
2. be on stage again
3. become a better teacher
4. lose weight
5. change my looks
6. afford to get my M.A.
7. write a novel
8. paint

8 SHOWS I WATCH:
1. Arrested Development (although it is no longer on TV, so all I have are my precious DVDs)
2. The Office (I don't have cable, so we watch it on the internet)
3. Flight of the Concords (don't have HBO, so we'll have to wait for the DVD)
4. none (not much of a TV person)
5. none
6. none
7. none
8. none

I need a stern talking-to.

2009-05-10T09:18:00.002-04:00

My body is screaming "baby" at me. Effing biological urges. Someone please tell me that babies are not a good idea right now, and might not be, ever. I need logic to overcome my instinct to further my (poisonous) genes.
I have a lot of work to do, and I've been ignoring it. I have at least three major assignments from my kids that I need to grade, and my apartment is a cluttered mess. My lesson plans aren't finished for the week, which makes me irresponsible.
I STILL haven't finished my wedding thank you cards, and it's been nearly two months. I screen-printed them, lined the envelopes, and even made paper seals, but I haven't filled them out yet. Here they are, by the way.

Where I live.

2009-05-09T21:42:00.004-04:00

I live steps from a metro station. I love that the city is so accessible to me now, and I fear moving to the true suburbs might depress me (I say true because, technically, we already live in a suburban area, but it's still part of the city's public transit maps). So, which is more important-- having museums, the ballet, Ethiopian food, independent coffee shops, concert venues, and 14th and U Street vintage stores within walking distance of my home, or not spending nearly two hours everyday driving a car?

P.S.-- I took this picture tonight when Aaron and I took a walk around our neighborhood. It is the street view from underneath the metro rail.

Just married.

2009-05-09T18:47:00.002-04:00

Congratulations, John and Mandy! I love you both, and miss you terribly. We sincerely wish we could have gotten down there to see it in person.

Experiment

2009-05-07T15:59:00.006-04:00

Recently one of my students lent me some books about Islam. I requested them from her because, unlike my school in Florida, my current job location has a diverse ethnic and religious population. I felt it would help me to better understand some of my students, their customs, lifestyle rules they must observe, etc. Granted, I had taken a world religions course in college, but the unit on Islam took only two days and it did not focus at all on Islam in the United States.

So, I borrowed the books and read them. My favorite piece that she gave me was about the ritual of fasting; I had fasted once with one of my students during Ramadan two years ago in order to better understand how it would affect him, but I didn't finish the month-- not out of lack of willpower, but because I lacked a spiritual reason to do so. I didn't understand its importance, nor that the reason need not be religious. Now, after having read the book from my current student, I realize that Faisal fasted not only because he was following the tenets of his religion, but also to understand the plight of the impoverished, to retain a sense of gratitude for the sustenance with which he'd been blessed, and to exercise self-control-- to overcome the demands of his body with the strength of his mind.

I know all of this may seem strange, and by no means do I intend to adopt any religion, currently. Sadly, none of them truly quench my insatiable need for the concrete. That, and I've got major beef with the idea of looking upon the beliefs of others and deeming them incorrect because they are not my own. Still, I can make sense of this practice, which surprises me, as I have difficulty making sense of just about any religion.

I fasted today, to test my willpower. I've made it through the day, and I may plan to fast tomorrow. I want to test my own strength. I want to surprise myself. I want to be grateful.

Saturday, May 2nd.

2009-05-04T21:09:00.002-04:00

It was my twenty-sixth birthday. That's right-- I'm closer to thirty than I am to twenty. Makes a girl want to vomit a little.

It was a good day. I took some kids on a mini field trip to visit some embassies in the city, and I met up with some friends later for dinner and cake and silliness. Solid birthday.

Here's how I'd like to remember it: Walked five miles. Wrote my name in Japanese. Tapped my feet to steel drums. Smiled at an Uzbek. Took a gangsta picture. Rocked a Tae Kwon Do headband. Poked a kid in the eye. Danced in Venezuela. Posed with Gandhi. Got sung to. Ate an amazing cheeseburger. Reveled in the company of great friends. Came to new realizations. Made a fool of myself. Blew out a candle.

I knew it would happen eventually, I just didn't expect it to be this soon in my career.

2009-04-24T16:55:00.003-04:00

One of my students from last year died. Another former student emailed me the link to the news article explaining that he had been killed in a motorcycle accident. He would have graduated this year. He was signed up for the Navy. His name was Nick.

Nineteen years old.

I nearly vomited when I read the article. I can't believe that someone whose life was so closely intertwined so recently with my own is no longer living. I saw this kid everyday. He had plans for his life.

I don't know how to feel about this. Fact of life? Get over it? I don't know if it's that easy.

Get ready for me to get uncomfortably candid. This is hard for me to write.

2009-04-22T16:17:00.009-04:00

Nevermind.

2009-04-21T18:49:00.004-04:00

Aaron's gone on business to Alabama for four days. I miss him already.

Living alone is a difficult thing, even for so short a period. I guess that might make me incapable of being independent.

I came home and ate sushi while I watched I Heart Huckabees. If you have not seen this movie, I recommend it highly.

Now, instead of doing productive things like making my wedding thank you cards, working on next week's lesson materials, or cleaning, I'll be spending the remainder of the night playing Civilization 4. Because I'm a pathetic geek.

I need motivation.

Concert Frenzy

2009-04-10T00:30:00.003-04:00

Saw Neko Case tonight. Will Sheff from Okkervil River opened. Effing amazing show.

Seeing Beirut on Saturday.
The Hold Steady and Santigold in June.
Elbow in August.

God, I love living fifteen minutes from a big city.

Easter Banner

2009-04-08T11:52:00.003-04:00

Aaron and I will be having six friends over for Easter dinner. I had been kicking around simple decoration ideas, and I found one when I looked at the latest storefront display at my local Anthropologie: a simple paper banner in multiple colors hung in an ombre pattern. I didn't see if they had used paper or fabric, as I saw it from my car while driving, but I think mine is a lovely spin.

Here are a couple of pictures (try to pay no attention to that ungodly lighting fixture my landlord hung in 1972-- although it could be cute if it were lime green, right?).

Oh, and I color-coded my fiction bookshelf. That's right, I have a whole bookshelf devoted to only fiction.

Breakfast

2009-04-06T12:21:00.002-04:00

It's Aaron's birthday today. He played hookie from work and I made him a breakfast for the ages.

Menu:
Smoked Salmon and Leek Quiche
Turkey Bacon
Sour Dough Toast with Danish Butter
Cappuccino
Mimosas

Night In

2009-04-05T19:28:00.002-04:00

Aaron and I have been married three weeks. Everyone told me things would change.

They haven't. Everything's still perfect.

We're spending the night in eating homemade jambalaya, watching movies, and drinking root beer floats.

I love this man.

The Wedding Picture Post

2009-03-31T21:19:00.004-04:00

I know. It's been ages. I've been going through a bit of an emotional slump lately-- I feel lethargic and blue. I'm not sure if it's wedding withdrawal or something else, but it certainly isn't pleasant. But that doesn't matter. You're here for pictures, right? Courtesy of Rob Witzel Photography:

Mourning Dove

2009-03-21T08:43:00.002-04:00

We woke up this morning to find a bird nesting on our windowsill. After a little detective work, we found out she is a Mourning Dove, a bird common to Maryland. However, according to the Maryland Ornithological Association, Mourning Doves rarely nest on buildings, so we're thinking that, since the nest was there from last year, she may be recycling the spot left from another bird.

We've named her Petunia.

PICTURES!

I know some of you must be waiting for a wedding update, but I'm holding out for some real pictures from our photographer before I spill the beans. Sit tight.

2009-03-04T17:43:00.002-05:00

Too many things are going on at once. I'm getting overwhelmed, and I'm starting to feel helpless.

Wedding Ceremony Music

2009-02-24T20:44:00.003-05:00

So, I've been kicking around some ideas in my head for the ceremony music. Download these gems if you don't have them already, give a listen, and let me know what you think:

Guests being seated:

Pennies from Heaven - Louis Prima
Mushaboom - Feist
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
More Adventurous - Rilo Kiley

Bridesmaid Processional:

"Theme" from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jon Brion

My Processional:

"Row" from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jon Brion

Recessional:

You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon

What's the verdict, kids?

Nineteen days away.

2009-02-23T19:27:00.002-05:00

I'll be somebody's wife in nineteen days.

I love him. I am fortunate to have found someone so utterly perfect for me.

Ten things I love about Aaron.

He knows all of the U.S. presidents in order, including their lengths of term and party affiliations. It's not because he knows them, but because he decided to memorize them for the sheer novelty of it.
He shares my affinity for going on impromptu road trips, windows down, stereo blasting, to go explore places we've never been.
He can tell one hell of an historical story. I swear, when we first started dating, I would ask him to narrate the fall of the Roman Empire or the reign of Stalin when we would cuddle on the couch.
He makes me laugh until I cry.
He knows just how to calm me down. There's something about his tone that instantly soothes any sudden anxiety or worry I have brewing.
He gives a perfect hug.
His stately nose seems made just for the purpose of Eskimo kissing (that, and the whole breathing thing).
He tells me I'm beautiful, even though I'm not. He believes it, even though it isn't true. Even better, I KNOW he believes it.
He awes me with his intelligence.
He dances with me even though it makes him a little uncomfortable. He plays silly games with me. He flirts with me. He kisses my forehead. In public.
He smiles sleepily when I rub his back and kiss his cheek before I leave each morning.
He's the wheat chex and pretzels to my rice chex and cheez-its.

Okay, that was twelve.

I am so lucky. So few people experience the happiness I have had for nearly eight years. I may not believe in soul mates, but I do believe in perfect love. This is it.

Shower!

2009-02-22T08:50:00.002-05:00

Caitlin authored a post on her blog sharing all the hard work she and my sister put into making my shower the best party I've ever had.

Check it:

Sister.

2009-02-18T20:36:00.003-05:00

I love you.

Boo yah. Kinda.

2009-02-17T16:35:00.003-05:00

Today was a hard day. My body hates me.

On the flip side, I got my English teacher test scores in the mail.
If you were to tell me, this second, that I am not a literature, grammar, and writing genius, I would call you a liar. Out of a possible six-hundred points on one of the tests, I got 596. That's right, kids. I am the English teacher SHIT.

I think I might want to go back to school to become a college professor. Raise your hand if you think I should.

I hate myself for having a favorite student. I need advice on how to fix it. Anyone? Bueller?

Some thoughts on love.

2009-02-15T11:15:00.006-05:00

I love everyone.

Really, I actually mean it. If I have met you and talked with you, I love you. I've always reacted to people this way. I think it might be hard-wired into my subconscious. My mind blooms with emotion and care from the genesis of a relationship.

I'm not exactly sure I like it that way, though.

I give love too easily and too completely. I feel it too quickly and intensely. I am led by it. My love is, in nearly every case study, unconditional; I will provide it despite being forgotten, taken advantage of, and even mentally or emotionally abused (all of which have happened).

Love should be exclusive. It should be reserved for only those who play a positive, integral role in my life, and not for figurative passersby. It should be withheld from people who hurt me. But it isn't.

I hate that my heart dominates my actions. I am left vulnerable every minute of every day.

Antithetically, I do not believe in love at first sight, soul mates, or any other optimistic matters of love. Love at first sight alienates those who are physically detestable, while the occurrence of soul mates is statistically impossible given the world's population; sure, I have found someone who makes me happy and completes who I am, but who's to say there is not someone halfway across the world, thirty miles away, being born, living in his prime, or on his deathbed, that could not be the same thing for me? I believe in the love between Aaron and me, but I do not believe it is unique. I believe we have a perfect love, but I do not believe it is the only perfect love possible for either of us.

What does all of this make me? A pessimistic optimist? A romantic that is truly without hope, rather than hopeless?

Someone please explain to me why I'm so crazy.

The best SNL skit since Fey did Palin

2009-02-15T10:03:00.001-05:00

Never thought I'd be on a boat.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

100th post.

2009-02-14T09:18:00.003-05:00

This is my one-hundredth ode to blatant self-importance. This is my one-hundredth piece of evidence to prove that, yes, even though I have devoted my life to a work of service and I can barely stand the sight of myself in a mirror, I am, like every other human, a narcissist.

Yay, me.

The concert was FANTASTIC last night. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Ben Folds, he had a short run of mainstream success with his three-piece band, Ben Folds Five, in the mid to late nineties. I prefer his solo work, which has remained fairly obscure except to devotees like my sister, Nicole, who got me listening to him. His style is a combination of Billy Joel, Elton John (before the flamboyance), and John Darnielle from the Mountain Goats. His lyrics are nearly all narratives, either telling true stories from his own life or incorporating fictional characters. If it weren't for his piano-laden pop sound, I'd call him pure punk rock for his irreverence and cheekiness.

He got shafted last night. They had him as THE OPENER to Jason Mraz, who has a hit single right now. ONE HIT SINGLE, not a catalog of perfect pop songs.

We left after Ben finished out of principle.

In other, more selfish news, CAITLIN is coming into town today, and I can't even wait! She's my closest friend back in Florida, and she's here for the weekend. Today, Nicole, Caitlin, my mother, and I will all be heading to my seamstress for another dress fitting. It'll be the first time Caitlin and my mom will see me in my dress, which I'm a little nervous about. What if they think I look crappy? And worse, what if they don't tell me?

One-hundredth post completed.

Important Announcement

2009-02-13T17:41:00.002-05:00

BEN FOLDS CONCERT TONIGHT! YEAH!

Ad Venerem means "To Venus"

2009-02-12T17:32:00.006-05:00

Venus is the Roman goddess of love, for those of you who inquired about that last title.

Anyhoo, in the spirit of love, lust, and passion, here are two movies that you must see, regardless of whether you enjoy love stories. These films are BEAUTIFUL.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind just so happens to be my favorite movie of all time, if I were pressed to name one.

Amelie is my hero. She leads with her heart, and in the movies, that sort of blatant fragility is rewarded instead of abused or taken for granted.

You MUST see these movies. No excuses.

Ad Venerem

2009-02-11T19:36:00.003-05:00

In no particular order, her are some (SOME) love songs I adore, in honor of the upcoming frivolous holiday of love, lust, and passion.

Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin
Joga - Bjork
Here With Me - Dido
Stand By Me - Ben E. King
Can't Get Started - Ella Fitzgerald
Mushaboom - Feist
Heartbeats - The Knife
Eye - Smashing Pumpkins
Glory Box - Portishead
Miss You - The Rolling Stones
Hold You in My Arms - Ray LaMontagne
Layla - Derek and the Dominos with Eric Clapton
The Ballad of John and Yoko - The Beatles
No Children - The Mountain Goats
When a Man Loves a Woman - Percy Sledge

I know I must have left out so many. Tell me what I forgot.

Don't worry, Aaron doesn't read this.

2009-02-10T17:13:00.003-05:00

I tried on my veil this afternoon. I'm not sure if it's exactly what I pictured, and I'm also a little worried that it may clash with the style of my dress, but I think I like it nonetheless.

Pictures one and two is me playing with Picnik software, and picture three is the way it actually looks on me.

In other news, the fam is coming into town this weekend for the bridal shower my sister is throwing me on Sunday. I can't wait to see everyone, but I feel a little weird about the whole "shower" concept. Sure, I love receiving gifts just like anyone else, but I guess I may not be comfortable with the idea of an entire party centering around them. That, and I'm self-conscious and tubby. Everyone's dressing up, and I'm going to look schlumpy as usual. Bleh.

Today.

2009-02-04T20:09:00.002-05:00

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism today. I'll be on medication for the rest of my life.

Both thrilled and angry with myself.

2009-01-29T20:08:00.004-05:00

Three reasons why I am thrilled:

my shop on Etsy is getting some serious traffic thanks to the Gift Guide feature
I finished my grading
I have been going to the gym consistently

Three reasons why I am angry:

I feel defeated all the time about things I don't believe I can control
I keep thinking about how terrible I will look on my wedding day
I officially have a favorite student, but I should be neutral . . . that said, I've been extra careful not to give the kid extra attention

Geez.

The BIG TIME.

2009-01-28T13:30:00.003-05:00

Etsy put my "You My Bitch" card in the effing GIFT GUIDE.

CHECK THIS OUT!!!

Also, I curated a treasury inspired by girly, lovely things.

First snow.

2009-01-28T11:38:00.006-05:00

It's beautiful outside, and I am thankful I do not own my own home, otherwise I'd be out there shoveling.

School was canceled today, which means more procrastination. The administration postponed grade submission until Thursday afternoon, so that means I can leave that last bit of grading until tomorrow morning, right? I can leave lesson planning until then too, right? I am NOTORIOUS.

I am loving being lazy today, but I have to get going. Lots of things to do besides sitting around in my pajamas and watching trashy TV.

Sales have picked up over at the shop, and, no surprise, the valentines are the big sellers. I think I've sold five of my scandalous "hump" cards in less than a week, which is big news. I just finished my last valentine design and posted it this morning. Take a look.

I promised.

2009-01-26T20:38:00.003-05:00

Inauguration pictures are now uploaded into Flickr.

Check it:

I have no shame.

2009-01-21T19:43:00.002-05:00

We went to the inauguration. Pictures coming soon.

Here's another Valentine's Day design. Hope nobody's offended.
It's for sale in the etsy shop.

I haven't forgotten.

2009-01-18T10:13:00.003-05:00

I've been avoiding writing, but it's really because I've had nothing to say. No updates to the shop. No updates to the life... not really, anyway. But today I finally got around to photographing my new set of Valentine's Day cards to post on Etsy. I plan on printing three more designs before the weekend is out, so check back soon.

Voila!

As reflective as I can be at five in the morning.

2008-12-19T05:13:00.004-05:00

I just woke up for work (yes, I actually get up this early) and realized I had been avoiding writing this entry. I typically avoid anything daunting, such as stacks of papers to be graded or three-hundred envelopes to be lined. But why was this somewhat frightening to me? What could possibly go wrong? Well, not only is today my last day with the kids until January, my last day at home until New Year's, and my last day to ignore all of the work I have piled up for myself, but this is also the last day I'll be participating in Making It.

I wrote to Marichelle several months ago requesting that she consider spotlighting my new business. This took me a few weeks to work up to, as I was afraid of the seemingly inevitable rejection that would come of it. Her blog is incredible-- definitely a daily read for me. I was thrilled to hear back from her so quickly, and she came up with the brilliant concept of featuring several new people to the handmade scene and chronicling our struggles and triumphs. I couldn't pass it up.

I've heard from so many of you through Heart Handmade. I've made connections all around the world-- my blog hits went from five a week to thirty a day. That might be small potatoes for some, but it was a world of a difference to me. I feel like I've become vested in this part of the world that I had only discovered some months before. I'd never thought I'd be able to organize myself enough to participate in a craft show, and clean up at that. It didn't occur to me that I could be sending my cards, my little labors of love, to people halfway across the world.

I'm still new at this-- still wet behind the ears. But now I think I know what might be ahead for me (besides Valentine's Day and the cards to go with it, of course).

I would like to close with a sincere thank you to all of you who came to find me on Heart Handmade and give me encouragement every week. You have touched my heart (cliche and corny, but true). And thank YOU, Marichelle, for helping me to my feet. Thank you for allowing me to make my business more personal. Thank you for being patient. Thank you for your work.

You want some? Go get some!

2008-12-10T17:23:00.005-05:00

Want some of my cards, along with some other amazing handmade items, for FREE??

Head on over to Modish and enter the current GIVEAWAY, which features a 5-pack of my Deco the Halls greeting cards, and just in time for the holidays.

Just call me Ms. Conflicted

2008-12-08T17:52:00.002-05:00

I am determined to be good at my job. I want to be an incredible teacher. A movie teacher. You know the ones-- John Keating from Dead Poets, Jaime Escalante from Stand and Deliver, Glenn Holland from Opus. It will never happen, though. I know this because I know how I am, and always have been. I'm irreverent, irresponsible, chaotic, and self-deprecating. I seem to have no motivation; I rarely work hard at anything, even if I desire something greatly.

I'm incredibly behind in my grading. I haven't even finished reading the book I am now teaching (this will be remedied tonight, though). I barely meet bureaucratic deadlines. I leave everything for the morning of, instead of preparing in advance. I am hesitant to sacrifice my personal time, even though I rarely engage in constructive activities during said time.

Someone needs to kick me in the ass. LECTURE ME. PLEASE.

Otherwise, I'll never be great. Good-- maybe. Okay-- certainly. But great? It won't happen unless I change my habits.

The Tree.

2008-12-06T23:16:00.003-05:00

It's our first tree. Sure, it's made of unpronounceable plastic products and not timber and needles, but I think it's perfect. It was my first attempt at decorating a tree without "suggestions" (dictations) from my mother on our family tree, and I think I might have just done a super-awesome job, especially given that I was operating on a slim budget. I was going for a "sparkly woodland" feel when picking out ornaments and such. Aaron and I decorated together while listening to Christmas music and inhaling the cinnamon emanating from the scented pinecones I had covered with glitter the night before (I used them, along with some beaded pears I found on clearance, to fill the bald spots in the $14.99 fake tree).

Without further ado, here are the pictures:

Pennies from heaven. They count.

2008-12-04T19:39:00.006-05:00

It's always around this time that I really start feeling the holidays. I'm constantly scoping out gifts for my loved ones (and, embarrassingly, some for myself), hunting for the perfect ornaments to deck out my [fake] tree (I know... sacrilege), and planning visits with family.

Things are certainly tight, money wise, this year. Our rent is astronomical (that's what we get for moving to a location within ten minutes of northwest D.C.), we're still saving mad money for the wedding, and I just started my business. Sales have started to pick up a little over at the shop since the Baltimore show, but I'm still hoping for some last minute card buyers in order to ease the burden of my investment. Despite those concerns-- and everybody has them right now-- I am more excited for this holiday than any other in recent memory. Aaron and I finally have a place to put up a [fake] tree together, my head is swimming with cheap and chic decorating ideas thanks to creative people like Livy, Martha, and Elsie, and we'll be going on a road trip for half of the break.

Now all I need is holiday music.

My all time top ten... at least for right now, and in no particular order:

Pennies From Heaven - Louis Prima (I know. It's not exactly a "holiday" song, but it reminds me of my favorite scene in Elf everytime I hear it, and that makes me feel the cheer.)
This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
Sleigh Ride - Ella Fitzgerald
I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas - Harry Stewart (a childhood favorite)
Donde Esta Santa Claus - Augie Rios (my sister will know why)
Merry Christmas All - Brook Denton (my sister and my mother will know why)
Christmas Time is Here - Vince Guaraldi
White Christmas - The Drifters
Please Come Home for Christmas - Charles Brown
Happy Christmas (War is Over) - John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band

I'll post pictures of my tree this weekend. Have a wonderful rest of your week, everyone!

SHOP SALE.

2008-11-27T22:17:00.005-05:00

From Black Friday through Cyber Monday, all of my single greeting cards will be 3 for $10.00 or 5 for $15.00 mix and match.

Tell your friends. No really. Tell them.

I am thankful.

2008-11-27T09:49:00.005-05:00

Happy family, happy love, happy warmth, happy shelter, happy sustenance.

Sweet, sweet sustenance.

I am so fortunate.

Shop Update!

2008-11-22T11:02:00.003-05:00

The holiday cards are finally available on Etsy! Take a look!

Holiday Heap

2008-11-20T20:31:00.008-05:00

Oh man. The show was fantastic. I made out really well-- the money I made covered more than half of my investment thus far, and I still have three-quarters of my inventory left. And I was approached by two different curators to participate in other shows.

Some pictures:

Aside from the monetary success, I still feel like a bit of an impostor. I'm not an artist. I'm not "talented," per se. I'm just clever sometimes, and it helps when formulating silly greeting cards. But the people at this show, THEY were talented. Here are some amazing items from other vendors that you should snap up right away:

Large Lead Dish in Buttercup by Pink Kiss Pottery

Modern Bohemian Card Set by Sugar Paperie

Paper Airplane Necklace by Finch Metal

George Washington Mask by Pellinore Press

Laurel Headband by The Candy Thief

Radiolaria Brooch by Nervous System

Chocolate Lime Evening Pocket Clutch by Pistol Stitched

Now do you guys understand why I feel like the ugly duckling?

Stay tuned for a shop update... possibly Friday night.

Last minute reminder!

2008-11-16T20:53:00.002-05:00

I know, I owe you guys an update since the show on Saturday, but I'm waiting until I can really sit down and devote some time to sharing the awesomeness as thoroughly as possible.

In the meantime, here's a friendly reminder for all of you to go and enter to win Modish's November Giveaway!

Some killer featured items include ItyBityBags' Norwhal Applique Pouch, Oblinaknit's Mushroom Zip Bag (this lovely lady is a local gal-- I met her briefly and saw her beautiful stuff at Unusual Suspects), and FIAZ CO's Logan clutch (I'm sure you can tell I like bags).

I got nothin' for ya.

2008-11-13T16:38:00.006-05:00

Sorry, all of you five readers, but I just haven't had much goings-on this week. That, and our computer decided to die, and it's sitting in Circuit City computer purgatory, so I've jacked my sister's computer temporarily.

So, since I'll not a have a solid update for you until Saturday night, following the Heap, I've decided to post some happy links about bunnies. That's right. Bunnies.

I lied. I can't find any good links about bunnies. Here's a cute picture, though.

I guess I could get personal, instead. A list of five personal things, for your reading pleasure:

Sometimes I feel like I am an impostor at my nine-to-five. I don't feel like a real teacher, I feel like I'm playing teacher, and I'm just fooling everyone.
I'm incredibly, cripplingly self-conscious, but I think I've got mad charisma. Because of this, I consider myself a walking dichotomy.
I used to be a good singer, but I'm not so sure anymore. I want to be a talented person, but, again, the whole impostor thing tends to take over.
I'm afraid I'll look horrible on my wedding day.
I can fold my tongue into a clamshell.

Now, it's your turn. Post five personal things about yourself, either as comment, or on your blog and link to it. If I can do it, you can too. I'm outty.

I am consumed.

2008-11-05T18:09:00.006-05:00

I have officially become a business owner. Today, I received my Maryland sales tax ID and materials in the mail. It's both momentous and truly frightening. What's more, after doing my books (or having Aaron, the future hubby, do them), I may actually see a profit in my first year. . . provided that I sell the full sum of my inventory. A lofty goal, you say? Indubitably.

On a happier but equally stressful note, I purchased my very first bridesmaid gifts for my girls. Caitlin, Nicole, Stacy, LOOK AWAY IF YOU'RE READING THIS!

I found them in Paloma's Nest on Etsy. This isn't the item I bought for them, but aren't these beautiful?

I plan on purchasing the rest of their gifts from independent artists and crafters because, even though I've always appreciated the independent movement and the artistic spirit, I never realized the importance of such purchasing until I really entered the market myself. I simply cannot justify buying mass-produced items for my girls when I can find truly unique and inspired things for them through the convenience of both Etsy and my local shows.

And I love to find beautiful things on Etsy. It's damned enjoyable.

Speaking of the wedding, I also requested the help of The Sparrow Fist and XO Elle for the services of fashioning a feathered headband for me to wear to the reception (the former) and making a custom bow-tie for Aaron (the latter). Both ladies have been a joy to work with and have guided me through the "custom" process expertly.

Some beautiful examples of their work:

Finishing School Headband by The Sparrow Fist

Olive Green Silk Bow Tie by XO Elle

So, ladies who are wed, what kinds of things did you find for your girls? Ladies who are not yet wed, have you seen any neat items lately that would make for some smashing gifts? This is a call for links, so holla at me.

Election!!

2008-11-04T22:33:00.002-05:00

I wish the would call it already so I can go to sleep! I can't wait any longer!!

The show.

2008-11-03T16:17:00.002-05:00

I wouldn't say it was a success, but I'm not sure it was my fault.

The location of the show was not conducive to high sales; maybe 200 people walked through. I made 14 sales and banked just under $90. The booth fee was $65, so I really made $25.

It's okay, though. I think I feel more prepared for the Holiday Heap now, which, word has it, hosted over 5000 customers last year. Let us hope this year is the same.

PICTURES!

Biting the bullet.

2008-11-01T10:21:00.001-04:00

Heading to the fair. Wish me luck.

Enter this amazing contest!

2008-10-30T17:03:00.006-04:00

Head over to IndieFixx and enter their Autumn Cornucopia Giveaway. The prizes are incredible. The embroidery patterns from Sublime Stitching are calling my name! I hope luck comes my way yet again...

An Etsy Wishlist

2008-10-28T20:07:00.002-04:00

Things I want. Feel free to make a donation. ;)

Etsy: Your place to buy & sell all things handmade
greenporchlights.etsy.com

Taxes frighten me.

2008-10-23T20:10:00.002-04:00

I went to go see a tax adviser today, and I feel like I'm in over my head. I can barely keep my daily agenda straight let alone an entire system of bookkeeping.

What I'm looking for is some advice. What works for you? How do you keep all of those numbers straight? Have you found that hiring an accountant works?

Anything you have to share, please send it my way.

I don't think I will ever be able to handle this side of my "business." :(

Holy freakin' Moly.

2008-10-20T18:54:00.006-04:00

I just found out I won a layout contest on Polyvore for Hayden-Harnett. I won a $100 gift certificate. INCREDIBLE.

Here's the layout I made:

I love Hayden Harnett by greenporchlights

Here's what I bought with the gift certificate:

Today was a lucky day.

I got stress comin' out tha yin yang.

2008-10-16T16:55:00.004-04:00

My 9-5 is erupting in my face. I am a high school English teacher. Some would say that I'm crazy for having chosen this profession, but I never believed that until now. My brain is wired for creativity, silliness, and chaos. I have no patience for paperwork, figurative bureaucratic acrobatics, or bad behavior. And guess what I'm dealing with?

I love my kids. I love English. I love imparting my love of literature and, yes, grammar, to young, sponge-like minds. So why can't I just do that, instead of dealing with whooey? It seems like my job is less and less about teaching, and more and more about satisfying quantitative benchmarks that have little to do with student achievement. Sigh.

In other news, I'm now preparing for two craft shows (yes, I got into both Unusual Suspects and Holiday Heap) that are being held within two weeks of each other. I'm afraid of not having enough inventory to do both, or of making too much stuff and not making any of my money back. I've decided it would be better to have a beefed up inventory and to just sell the rest on Etsy than come up short-handed and miss the chance at a sale.

The product I'm most excited about is a DIY card kit I have concocted. It will contain pre-cut and scored cards, envelopes, patterned paper all cut and ready to go, fancy embellishments, and mini screenprinted holiday pictures and sentiments, along with a link to a blog with a complete tutorial on how to put the cards together, leaving it up to the customer as whether he or she would like to make my designs or be more adventurous. The only thing he or she would need is adhesive. Problem is, the kits are VERY time consuming to make, and I'm not sure they will sell. I mean, why would someone buy a kit to make cards when one could simply pay Hallmark and be done with it?

So, tonight the plan is to print up the sentiments and pictures, so the kits will be ready for assembly by tomorrow. I'll probably be taping my video tutorial tomorrow, as well. Stay tuned for sneak peeks.

So what are all of you working on? How are you juggling all of your other responsibilities?

Oh, and hooray for Holiday Heap!

What?!

2008-10-15T17:46:00.001-04:00

Charm City Craft Mafia Holiday Heap, HERE I COME!

Hooray!!

Could someone please remind me why I do this, again?

2008-10-11T19:15:00.002-04:00

I wasted three screens and six bulbs.

I am ready to tear my hair out.

I almost kind of broke my internet addiction. Kind of.

2008-10-09T18:39:00.003-04:00

So I have not had the internet at my disposal this past week, thus the infrequent posting. It has been both a blessing, and a curse; I was able to complete many new items over the past week without the computer luring me to waste time window shopping (ha! that actually works) or checking and re-checking Etsy, but, unfortunately, it prohibited me from telling all of you the good news that I WAS ACCEPTED INTO MY FIRST CRAFT SHOW! YIPPEE!!

Come see me at the Unusual Suspects Arts and Crafts Fair being held on November first in Bethesda, Maryland. Let me know you're a blog reader, and I may give you a little something special.

Anyhow, since getting accepted, I haven't been able to think of anything but preparations. What will my display be like? How should I price my items? Should I accept credit cards? Are my items going to sell? How do I make my packaging as appealing as possible? Can I get promos made in time to be added into the swag bags? The list goes on...

So, I've been kicking around the idea of setting up a clothesline of sorts on which I would clip my cards. I was also considering using kitchen-y containers, like a cake stand, to display things as well. On a whim, I visited my local Goodwill on Tuesday. I'm so happy I did.

I got the deal of the century. Three tea cups, a two-tiered glass cake stand that comes apart, a cloche, and a fancy candy dish--- all of these were under $8.00 all together. Yep. The cake stand was $2.99, the cloche was $1.99, the candy dish was $.99, and the tea cups were $.69 each. Insane.

So, I decided to try out some display ideas.

I think I'm onto something, but it certainly needs tweaking. Now, if only I could find a beautiful yet bargain-priced tablecloth, piece of fabric, or opaque bedsheet to cover my table, I may just be set.

Have any of you done a craft show before? Any advice to give this neophyte?

Oh, and before I sign off, here is a preview of some of my new items which will debut for sale at the show.

Peace.

All sorts of scariness, and how I cope.

2008-10-01T18:23:00.006-04:00

So, I bit the bullet. Despite not knowing whether or not I will be accepted into Charm City Craft Mafia's Holiday Heap, or into the show to which I have recently applied as well (DC Craft Mafia's Unusual Suspects Arts and Crafts Fair), I invested $150 into materials to produce goods to sell if I am chosen. What happens if I am not chosen? Well, I really don't want to think about it.

Then, there's this fear I have about not making any sales, either because my items are not up to snuff, or because everyone's afraid to spend money due to the uncertainty of the economy.

Should I have spent this money?

All of that, on top of nine-to-five stresses, has left me reeling. I'm tired. I'm shutting down. I'm unproductive. I've been eating too much and sleeping too little.

Here are pictures of one of my current food happinesses (yes, I love them that much to take pictures):

Even the wrapper is charming and rustic.

Crispy goodness.

The last bite.

Anise, sesame, and sugar compliment this light, crispy wafer cookie from Spain. They're called Sweet Olive Oil Tortas, and I found them at my local gourmet store. I CANNOT. GET. ENOUGH. I'm not even much of an anise fan (not into the whole licorice thing), but these are incredible, and addictive. They're heavenly, I promise you.

How are things for all of you? Are you coping with food, like me?

New Treasury!

2008-09-30T19:08:00.000-04:00

I love doing these.

Clicky.

Crafty Bastards -- The Goods

2008-09-29T17:29:00.004-04:00

There were a few requests for pictures of items I purchased at Crafty Bastards, so, without further ado...

Japanese Yuzu and Sugared Walnut soaps from Oliba.

Art from Jaime Zollars.

Finally, the piece de resistance-- the most perfect, hand-stitched softie owl from TigerFlight.

Fantastic, eh?

And, after seeing their beautiful items in person, I plan to buy things from MaryInk and The Small Object once I actually start seeing a profit from my shop (so, expect me to post some pictures of my purchases seven years from now).

I also made purchases with Sewing Stars, Something's Hiding in Here, and Owly Shadow Puppets, but I can't show you what I bought because they're holiday gifts for someone I love.

Crafty Bastards!

2008-09-28T21:30:00.002-04:00

Nicole and I went to Crafty Bastards A&C Fair in D.C. today, and we had a blast. I met some really talented artists, and I bought some really amazing stuff.

Pictures!

Later this evening, I printed some new holiday cards on my Gocco machine. I haven't posted them in my shop yet, so all (three) of you are getting a sneak peak!

Pictures!

And, last but not least, the winner of my very first giveaway is...

NUMBER SIX! Livy!
I'll comment you on your blog to let you know. Or, you can email me your address to tinaamato@gmail.com.

HOORAY!

Sneak Peak!

2008-09-27T21:45:00.003-04:00

Here are a few sneak preview pictures of some of what the winner of my giveaway will win...

To enter, just look at the post below and follow the steps. I'll be choosing a winner Sunday night!

My FIRST giveaway!

2008-09-26T08:00:00.002-04:00

In celebration of my new "business" (that's so strange... I feel like I need somebody's permission to write that) being featured every Friday for the next three months on Marichelle's fantastic blog, Heart Handmade, I am doing my very first giveaway.

Here are the rules:

Go to the Heart Handmade website to check out "Making It!," and post a comment wishing one of us featured ladies good tidings (and be sure to read their blogs and check out their shops, too!).
Come back here and leave a comment on this giveaway post confirming that you have indeed left good tidiings on HH.
On Sunday night, I will choose a random number using a super-scientific equation involving small pieces of paper and a hat, a shoe, or a similar handy container.
The person I choose will win a set of Gocco Cards along with a few other little goodies! Hooray!

Fear and Dread

2008-09-22T17:14:00.003-04:00

I applied for a table at Baltimore Craft Mafia's Holiday Heap last night. I'm scared I won't get in, as it's a juried show. The prospect of selling there is exciting, though, because it targets my market... if I even HAVE a market. Do crafters always go through this kind of self-doubt, or am I the only crazy one?

I need to spend more time making new things. It's difficult because I haven't had Gocco supplies at my disposal, particularly the lamps, and making paper-pieced cards is just so damned taxing, not to mention that it doesn't look as polished or professional.

I feel like this whole thing may be destined for failure.

Card Peddling Time

2008-09-16T17:11:00.002-04:00

So here's something I haven't done in awhile: I haven't made cards the hard way. I haven't done the whole paper-piecing, embellishing, one-of-a-kind thing.

But guess what I did last night?

That's right. I made a new card.

I was actually considering buying a vendor spot at a local holiday craft show that's coming up in November. Problem is, I only have last year's cards left. The rejects. The ones that didn't sell when I put them out last Christmas.

Take a gander, and let me know why these didn't sell (except for the first one in the bunch... that's the one I made last night):

Someone put my...

2008-09-15T16:56:00.001-04:00

...item in a Treasury! Hooray!

http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=8949

Aside from that, I'm so tired, but I have so much stuff to do for work. Boooooo.

I actually crafted this weekend.

2008-09-14T20:46:00.002-04:00

Imagine that.

I finished two more journals. They're for sale at my SHOP.

Sneak peeks:

I am such an imbecile.

2008-09-11T18:04:00.002-04:00

So, I ordered business cards and other paraphernalia from Vista Print, and I left a typo on the business cards. THE MOST IMPORTANT ITEM I ORDERED. And, to make matters worse, I TEACH ENGLISH. I should really have this no-typo-thing on lock by now, you know? Geez. It's a small error, though. No one will notice, right? RIGHT??

I should have just stuck to printing my own.

In other news, I'm tired, but I need to get crafting again. While I'm waiting for Gocco lamps, I've been working on more scrap art journals. I'll post when I get the new editions posted in my shop.

Lately I've been seeing discussions in the Etsy forums talking about being prepared for the holiday rush. I'm new. No one knows me. Should I be prepared?

I am OBSESSED...

2008-09-06T10:12:00.003-04:00

...with making Treasuries. I cannot get enough of the idea that not only do I get to pick items-- almost like a wishlist, arrange them, and publish them, but I get to give some fantastic, talented people some free business exposure.

I'll be honest, though. There's certainly a part of me that hopes karma is a real thing, so maybe one day I'll be added to someone's wildly clicked Treasury and get some exposure too... ;)

http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=5917

Bummer.

2008-09-03T18:11:00.002-04:00

I'm having a lot of trouble finding the time to both work on my new business and be a good teacher. With that said, I am thinking about staging a give-away to boost views and possibly make some sales. I was thinking it could be something like, "give me a shout-out on your blog, then comment back here with the link, and I'll pick randomly from those of you who do this" kind of thing. But is that cheesy? Would I be asking for too much?